Unable To Can

Consumed in black nothingness, you cannot tell whether it is of your own making or a scheme by an external entity. You are here now! That is all that you need to make peace with. Fight or flight?

You have been at odds with yourself since you discovered how complex you really are. Coming to a heartless realization that no one really gets you, ever so optimistic that someone on this planet will (someday sooner). Words will never, ever! Be enough. What an overrated form of communication we are accustomed to.

You are in the pits, Bikini Bottom (smiles at inside joke). How did you get here? I thought that you would have done better this time, you knew didn’t you? Yet you went with the flow because somehow you meant to prove yourself right; disappointing (Mxm).

There are things, right!? (THINGS) That you feel inside. How many of those feelings can you express using words? Given that it is entirely mental, Hmm! There are easily more than 100 feelings listed in the English dictionary, but you can only recognize less than 13%. Perhaps with better vocabulary, you could express more (I dunno).

You are not like others; you have been exposed to certain things that have helped mold you from birth. Emotions are physical (we see you), this is how feelings manifest.

E.g. Happiness/Love = Feeling; Joy/Attraction = Emotion.

You will continue to repeat the lessons you failed to learn (Mo’Lyfing). You only wish that you were under a rock, much easier to crawl out from but you are in a silent-dark-cold space with your thoughts. Which way is up? You could fall. Are you going around in circles? As you reach out, can you feel the walls on either side? Paranoia starts to settle in (there must be snakes, spiders, crocodiles, lizards, lions, and shiiii), now you believe that you are lost and that it is only a matter of time till it caves in on you.

The little hope you have desperately tried to convince you that there is light at the end but how far are you from it? Each step you take feels unnecessary, you are doubtful. Your breath gets shorter with every inhale, you are fearful.

Thoughts are no longer rational, at this point you are merely reacting. You are too caught up and confused to respond. The learning opportunity to be able to clearly identify feelings will always present itself to you in a variety of ways. Your responsibility is to pay attention during the lesson, which is the only way that you will be able to reduce the intensity of the emotion (THINK!!!).

You should’a, could’a, would’a… Oh well! You are on your own now.

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