Letter To My Ex: Training | Pt.2

This was our mood song; anytime, any day, we would sing along and jam to this.

Khanda liya duma

Maw’ngekh’eduze

Ange angekhe, ngidlale ngawe ke

Ange angeke, ngidlaale ngawe ke

Mngani wena angeke uzukholwe, ngeke uzukholwe

Angeke uzukholwe, ngeke uzukholwe

Sendiyajola, jola, jola, jola

Sendiyajola, jola, jola, jola

Mngani wena angeke uzukholwe, ngeke uzukholwe

Angeke uzukholwe, ngeke uzukholwe

Sendiyajola, jola, jola, jola

Sendiyajola, jola, jola (ha iyelele) jola

Song by: De Mthuda

Jola (feat. Sino Msolo & Da Muziqal Chef)

Think of Cougar with the gravy? It’s time for me to be handled now. Soon after supper, her text reads “come through to our building later tonight”. Bruuuv! The same building that’s guarded, added to, the level of restriction for us newbies. I reply, “ok, cool”. That time I’m shiii’n bricks with a deep squat.

I’m panicking, Braaa! Thinking [what could be waiting for me on the other side]? I then soothe my mental with a little pep-talk going like “you are bout to get into it Ma’Guy, go through it Ma’Guy, no ada way Ma’Guy”. I don’t wanna go back to regular meals, Naaah!

I’m steadily playing out various scenarios in my head. Conflicted… nobody knows. I wait till the perfect moment. Bout 30 minutes before the doors of our sleeping quarters get locked. I step outside, pretend to be on my phone while puffing a cigarette, trying not to look the part. I make my escape.

GONE! Deep in the shadows. Dressed unassumingly in dark clothing. I’m afraid… I’m afraid. Walking across open fields in the dark towards uncertainty. I eventually arrived at the complex, past the security gate, into the building. Following additional instructions, I near the door. Music is bumping in the hallway.

I hesitate before knocking [Aiiight let’s do this]. I raise my arm, “1 - 2 - 1 - 2” politely knocking on the door. I hear a woman screaming, “COME INSIDE!”. I open the door ever so respectfully. I see Cougar’s face light up when she sees me. She’s awestruck that I didn’t flake.

I get inside and BOIII IZZ IT A WHOLE CHILL SESSION. Drinks flowing, contraband in abundance, and the vibez are epic. I ease up buuuh still skeptical of the presumed issue at hand. Her Cougar friends offer me a drink. I accept coz I’m not finna offend these intoxicated grown a** women. The estrogen is high in the room.

Maybe it’s just the aura buuuh these Cougars be feel’n the Boii. I played along buuh consequently they became somewhat liberal with me. Your Moms shouldn’t be talking like that, FO’REAL. The conversations are epic, the drinks are bottomless, and the contraband is suspicious, LOOK ALIVE! LOOK ALIVE!

Euphoria in the room got me contemplating how I’ll wake up in the morning. Main Cougar keeps checking up on me, “Are you good Ma’boy?” I let her know straight away, “I am way too happy & so very much worried about being useful tomorrow”. I check the time, it's 23:38.

I’m panicking! Main Cougar whispers, “Don’t worry about waking up, I’ll give you a little something”. I did not wanna ask further questions, that’s all I needed to hear so I can vibe some more. Did I not get ‘in my chops’ that I passed out sitting upright on a chair?

Main Cougar and friends carry me to the guest bedroom and tuck me in. I was a fifth asleep and intoxicated.

I didn’t know where my phone is;

If my phone is dead;

If I set an alarm or what;

I still needed to walk back to the sleeping quarters;

Past the security gate;

Alerting the Bros so they can have the door open upon my arrival;

Hop in the shower;

Get dressed and pretend I was asleep like everyone else.

At 04:30, Main Cougar wakes me up and hands me a translucent soft pill and a glass of warm lemon water. I downed it like my life depended on it. I get up and she walks me out the door of the building and says to me, “Let me know when you get there”.

I nod and proceed to the security gate, nervous AF!!! Two-stepping, getting tripped by flat surfaces. The whole time, I’m convinced that my walk is normal. I get to the security gate, I don’t know what came over me buuuh I greeted the guards as if I knew them.

If they did not acknowledge that would’ve been the end of me. As soon as I made it past the security gate, I felt lighter. The relief was unreal! The hungover feeling gradually became less as I neared the sleeping quarters. I got inside, took a shower, and got dressed. Hella smiles Bruuuv! My mood was all good. My conduct wasn’t that of someone who just had the best night ever. Maybe a little too smiley. Pull back, pull back!

The Bros asking, “ey Bruuuh whatchu on?” and I reply, “You don’t have to worry about it sweetheart”. I was not bout to tell anyone bout last night. Since then, all of ‘em Cougars wanted a piece of me. I had no idea what I was bout to get ringed into. The free meals kept coming timeously, unsolicited and questionable favors in the mix. WHAT CAN WE DO!?

Cougar got me on retainer, don’t forget. Mans is not going to the dining hall as frequently as Mans used to, executive status shandis (type thing). On a random Tuesday, Cougar texts me, “Come by, I have something for you”. I’m excited and worried buuh I’ll definitely dala (make means). [I am too deep in the circle]. Is my internal dilemma.

I guess I’ll understand tonight why I was chosen. I go about my day pondering what the business is on the other side. I met up with Cute Xhosa that afternoon after one of my classes. Normally, I would be thrilled to see her and overly affectionate towards Ma’Baby buuh mentally I was distant.

She clocked it coz she kept asking “Are you okay, babe?” Politely, I dismissed her eagerness to know my thoughts. She was bothered by my reluctance to share. She wouldn’t understand anyway, why complicate it further when I’m not certain?

That night, I dipped as per Modus Operandi. I arrive at Cougar’s place, and I could immediately tell that the vibez have taken a more serious tone. I was nervous buuuh on the surface, I looked calm and ready. Couger reaches into her closet and takes out an olive green duffel bag. Hand it over to me, I take it. She then says, “You are coming with”. I ask, “Where are we going?”. She replies, “Yours is to observe, only, don’t ask too much”.

Bruuuh… I don’t know what I got myself into. I’m thinking [what do you mean, observe, Grandma?]. We head to her car, get in, and drive out the main security gate. The reason I came to this Academy, slowly disappearing from the rear view mirror as we drive further away, I take a deep sigh.

About 20 minutes later, we arrive at a residence. She turns off the car, turns to me, and says, “I trust you “. Bruuuh, I wanted to evaporate. She then instructs me to take the bag with me, follow her lead, and says that I shouldn’t be too chatty. We walk to the door, she knocks, and we wait.

Moments later, I hear someone running ecstatically to the door. The door unlocks and opens swiftly. A little kid peeks their head from the side of the door to see whose knocking. I then hear, “Hi Aunty Lee, how are you?” This kid is happy to see Cougar.

She bends over to give this kid a kiss and a hug, and they start chatting it up as she walks inside. I follow. The door closes behind me, and I’m there looking like a misplaced item, holding a duffel bag, the contents thereof are unknown to me.

The kid asks Cougar, “Did you come to see my Oom Api?” Next thing we’re following this kid through this big beautiful house till we get to the lounge area. I notice shady characters just chill’n, conversations about things I do not know, and scheming to the detail are happening.

By virtue of my presence, I participated in questionable activities, possibly criminal. An unknown male relieved me of the duffel bag I came with, and I played along as if I knew why I was there. [Did I just facilitate a deal with illicit goods?] – I wonder.

FAST-FORWARD… Cougar and I are back in the car. My mind is bouncing off the walls, too shaken to ask or to say anything. All I remembered was “yours is to observe, only, don’t ask too much”. I sit still, front passenger seat, looking out the window on a dark low low-lit night. I marinate over the events that just took place and the role I assumed. The car nears the security gate, and I receive a call, it’s Cute Xhosa calling.

I let it ring…

I let it ring…

I let it ring...

I feel conflicted [what am I even going to say, let alone explain]. These undercover trips and epic chill sessions with Cougar and friends became a frequent occurrence. I was pocketing odd amounts of money every week. I wasn’t doing much anyway, so I can’t really complain about anything. I was a passenger criminal. Not gonna lie, the thrill got me turning a blind eye to what I truly valued.

BACK TO LIFE – BACK TO REALITY. A couple of days pass, and I’ve grown casually attached to Cougar as my corruptor. We have an understanding of some kind. It started becoming increasingly difficult to keep our interactions on the low, whenever we were in public.

I even desisted from going to the dining hall to get my meals so as not to give people reason or the opportunity to discuss my operation. Cute Xhosa comes to me another day and hits me with “apparently… there’s a boy in your building that is dating the lady at the dining hall”.

I didn’t think much of it, buuuh I entertained her chat, why wouldn’t I gossip with my girlfriend? I wasn’t in any way intimate with Cougar buuuh nobody knew that. I wouldn’t speak on it either, for what?

I kept chill and persistent, gossiping with her coz low-key I wanna know which one of us she’s actually dating. She added, “I hear the guy is also Sotho”. It doesn’t register that they might be talking about me. I hype her up so she can spill more tea, I’m not suspect akere (right)?.

To be Continued…

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