That Was Satisfying

Look! I was not always a ladies' man, I learned to be one.

Through years and years of rejection, being a sensitive clown, emotional pinball, and less than a desirable partner.

I laugh whilst telling you this story, starring Frank! I will get to who he is in a minute, but first lemme give you context. When I started the iIce Popo™ in 2018 I would approach various establishments, ya know chilled spots. Speak to management, making them aware that I am a start-up syrup brand and that I would appreciate it if they would allow me to set up my mobile bar so I can create my signature cocktails.

At one of those establishments, on a busy Saturday night. Posted up in the parking lot, I was doing my thing. Handing out samples and sold what I could to recover expenses. It was tough to make a profit, not many trusted liquor from a mobile bar in a gravel parking lot, but I am a persistent MF and I know how to market my shiii.

Along comes this dark chocolate hun, we will call her Cocoa. Lemme tell y’all, I could not keep my cool. She was Fyyyyyyyyyn Whaaaat!!! Aay Aay! Bright colors on dark skin is one hell of a combo.

She pulls through with homie who I thought was her man, during conversation and mixing I ascertain that they are cousins, Win Win Win Win… So I start with subtle flirting, she responds well but then she challenged my advances, she ain’t even know Mans was ready to kick things into 4th gear.

There I was breaking my own rule, mixing business with pleasure. At least she paid for her drink, I’m not stupid. Convo here, giggles there, she walks away, drink in her hand… my hustle continues. About 20min later, her cousin pulls up on some “Bro she feeling you, she said I should get your number”. I did not hesitate.

As I am packing up to close shop I get a text message “Hey, your smile gave me butterflies”. Bear in mind that I have served +30 drinks that night, conversed with +50 people. Some being slay queens, alphabets, passerby, and others, not my type. I love to network… but I quickly recalled who it might be. It did not help that I exchanged numbers with those that wanted to book me for their private parties.

Okay cool! I replied, “They will die soon, you need to re-up”. From there it was almost a 3 month long talking stage. We were both pretty much relaxed but vibing in our interactions. Then Dezemba came, y’all don’t know buuh I was on my worst behavior.

She invited me to her pre-birthday party a little after Christmas. Mans showed up out of curiosity, I wish I stayed home. There were gang N*ggas and about 4 Huns. Luckily I got there tipsy with my own liquor, maaaaaan was she excited to see me.

The initial spot wasn’t happening, AT ALL! So she spoke to her friends about going somewhere else, seeing that I was whip’n. I agreed to take them, shiii I was bored anyway. We get to the 2nd location, a nice family home.

Now lemme introduce you to this pretentious B*tch called Opa, I did not know that he was besties with Frank. So the n*gga welcomes us into his Mom’s house, lays down the rules, and shiii… Ayyyyt shap! The party kicks off, Boiii was it turnt! I really want to tell you about Frank so I will skip the details of the fun that was had.

I wanted to leave because it was late, I know my bed is worried about me but Cocoa had other plans for me. She pulls me into one of the rooms and shiii got heated. About 5min into foreplay, Frank opens the door and asks what we are doing… "N*gga it is what it looks like" We were still kinda dressed, at least. He advised that we switch rooms because the one we were in was the parents' room.

Out’ta respect we moved into the other room. I should have known that F*cking Frank was setting me up but there was no blood in my actual head. Now it is a strip show, hot and steamy fo’real. Opa kicks the door wide open and starts yelling, guess who is behind him? F*cking Frank! Ooooh so pleased with himself that I’m getting humiliated.

Opa tries to agitate me by shoving me, saying I’m trying to disrespect him by having sex in his parents room. Frank did in fact set me up. Cocoa being the calm head, holds off Opa and his drunk tantrum while I put on my top, I was not in the mood to fight a n*gga over pussy that his homie wanted, Naah F*ck that!

At this point I am annoyed, the liquor is escaping and the sun is about to rise. I head to the car, Cocoa follows me. Once seated she starts apologizing on behalf of B*tch N*ggas and I ain’t tryna hear it because DaFuQ am I doing here? Ya boii was mad! She is pleading with ya boii not to leave, but ya boii already got the key in the ignition.

Without warning, Cocoa gets busy with my zipper and reaches in for the D. Look! I was mad AF buuh she got a reaction from my other head. Once erect she gave me some serious neck, I’m talking gag on overload… I’m there tryna keep composed buuh the girl is on a mission.

My pants were a little damp, looking like I spilled something. She had to rest, that was my chance to put the condom on. I did not have to say much, she hopped for a joy ride and all I had to do was maintain.

About 8min after the much-anticipated round occurred, did bloody Frank not leave the house in his stupid red & white pension-looking-crusty-hobo jockey, not even wearing shoes or socks bruuh, coming to inspect what is happening in the car, my F*cking car! On some “I just wanted to check up on you guys, what are you doing?” Bruuuuuh! Are you really that guy?

Can you not see how foggy the damn windows are? But Cocoa and I just brushed him off coz we were already dressed, not that we were hiding. Can you believe this MF straight up mack'n on Cocoa right in front of me, as if it will bother me? He actually thought he would walk away with her, dude lost that fight before it even started.

I did not even know that I had won the fight before it became one. He walks away defeated, trying to play it cool but that rejection broke him back into the house. I turn back to Cocoa and ask with “???” as my facial expression… “DaFuQ is wrong with him?”, she replies “No man, he’s always wanted to have a thing with me but I have never given him a chance. That’s why he’s pissed”, Ya think?

We continue talking (not about Frank), I roll a blunt and we jet off. Now… thing is, she gets horny when she’s under the herb, and I knew that because she confessed earlier after I told her I had a bud. Obviously, I did not believe her, I mean… are you that weird? Boii was she on a n*gga, she caught me off-guard because I was ready to drop her off at her crib buuh naah! She wanted more.

I did not have another condom, so I did a young sinful prayer before I slid in. Boiii was it moist, wooooh! (I need to get you more cush) That chocolate pussy was exquisite y’all, I could feel every contraction with every stroke, it felt like it was mimicking her heartbeat. I think it was the weed, it really put her in her zone. Ooooooooh! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! (deep voice) it’s a mess.

A part of me wanted Frank to pull up again and ask what we are doing in the car, LoL! He tried everything to stop what was meant to happen that night. For the most part, I was oblivious to his agenda. Whatever you do, wherever you go, whoever you’re with… Don’t be a Frank!

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